Friday, October 3, 2014

The Fast Paced Overachiever- Angry?

Fast paced people can sometimes have anger issues. We don't like the fact that people can't seem to keep up with our train of thought. Often we are talking with a "normal" (slow) person about a subject, then the conversation shifts into something else. We then comment or add thoughts about the previously discussed issue, the person is totally thrown off balance, or off track. We can't understand why they cannot keep up with our train of thought. They blame us for getting off track when in OUR reality many trains are going through the station and they are not able to follow the paths of the trains! When we get criticism for this, we sometimes get irritated to the point of getting irritated or angry. 

We sometimes lash out at friends, coworkers, or loved ones, not really out of anger, but of frustration for not being able to understand us. We can't understand why people can't understand our communications, and this can be frustrating. This can be both hurtful and also cause us to get upset.

Why Does This Happen?




Post by Addie Up.

The core issue with anger and the fast paced person is the frustrations we feel in our daily lives. We can often be forgetful and make mistakes that others would perceive as "careless mistakes", when it is merely going too fast. Often we are so driven and fast paced that we can fly over the details of meticulous work, such as paperwork that has a lot of detail. It can be boring to us, and we sometimes rush through the tasks that are boring to us and mistakes can happen. Our minds are often moving so fast and are so full of creativity, ideas, things to do, that when someone attempts to communicate with us, we appear to not listen to them. We appear to lack empathy for a sensitive situation that can leave a spouse or friend feeling ignored or not listened to. When this anger or frustration hits us, we are often shocked.

We simply can not fathom why someone would be angry or frustrated with us for not listening, when we had no intentions of ignoring or appearing unsympathetic to their needs. It is simply a part of us, and we don't try to ignore you, not listen, or appear uncaring! 

Solution Tips

Here are 5 tips to help people those with our relentless fast pace. 

1. Figure out what triggers the anger. When you read about how we are wired, you may be more sympathetic to our situation. We don't intend to tune you out, or ignore you. Too many things are simply going on in our minds and we don't mean to "not listen". In fact, "you never listen" is something we hear a lot! 

2. If you want to get your message across to us, try to slow us down, holding the wrist and asking for eye contact may seem extreme, but I have found it is a very good way for people to get their message to me. I ask them to do this and it really works well.

3. Text messages and emails can often be more effective, as it allows fast paced people to process the information when they can focus on the message without other auditory or verbal distractions. I really like texting and email, because it allows me to get the message without the distractions going on internally in my own mind, in an office environment, or even at home. 

4. If frustrated and you feel like you are being ignored, try to be patient and repeat your message without exhibiting anger or frustration, which fast paced people don't react to well. Patience is most definitely a virtue dealing with fast paced people. 

5. When you are dealing with someone who has a fast pace, don't get flustered. Sometimes simply giving them some down time away from pressure and deadlines can really help them get back to a state when they can pay better attention to your needs.